wow, nothing has changed!!! I could copy and paste my previous post!! :( You know, I am not sitting here upset, even though I am 104kg, I am really cranky today.

Really cranky that I am still going on about the same stuff, cranky that I haven't cared enough to change, cranky that I am no longer trying to lose weight to benefit my boys.
Just cranky!!!!

I read a new quote today:
"Act or Accept"  

so true, I am accepting who I am, I dont like it, but I am accepting it.
I need to act!!! Simple as that.

I really cant say much else, I just need to do. I am sicking of saying the same things over and over, Damien is sick of hearing the same things over and over!!

 This was me about 9 years ago, NEVER EVER want to go back there again!!! Slowly I am though :( so i need to fix that!!

OMG!

OMG OMG OMG!!

Well, I never ever thought I would be sitting here saying that I have put most of my weight back on!! :( I remember reading/hearing?? a while ago that a large amount, 80%??? of people that lose weight will put it back on - I seriously thought, how??? You lose weight, you keep it off = easy.

I am back at 103kg. The number is terrible, back to 3 digits, back over 100, but what is even worse is that I promised to never be back over 100. I never make promises, so I am so disappointed that I have broken it. I have lied to myself, lied to my amazing husband and lied to my boys.

Being over 100kg is not just a number, I am feeling so depressed all the time, I am always tired, I have little interest in sex, I am feeling very anti social, I am feeling inferior, it really is affecting my life.

There really is nothing I can say, I always talk and never "do". It really is time that my actions speak louder than words.

I am no longer doing weight watchers, although I am sure I will always "be counting points". I saw a dietitian a few months back, listened to her for a week, and since then have not given a stuff - but I now give a stuff. I need to. So I am going to be following her plan, and I am going to be losing weight!!!

I am hoping my close friend Sarah will do this journey with me. We are at the same weight, similar life styles, so it will be nice. Also a bit of friendly competition will be good.

I am not going to make some big statement to be 80kg for Easter, etc... I have done that forever and have failed. I really do just want to lose every week  -how awesome would that be.

Braxton (5 years) has been telling me lately that I am fat. I know he is just a kid, but I do not ever want my boys to be embarrassed of my size, so it really is time to fix me!!! To become happy, to become a better mum, to become a better wife and be the person I really want to be.

A loss is a good start

I had a loss - not as big as I was hoping, but my aim is to lose each week, so I achieved that. I am now sitting at 92.1kg. Had an awesome week - worked out the most I think I have ever, so I am really proud of that.

I stuck to my points, need to really check my snacking though, I am sure I am eating a few more than I am meant to each day :( Hoping for a really good loss again this week.

My goal is to be 88kg before the end of the month, so that is still achievable.

I am having a hit of tennis tonight with a few friends, so that will be interesting :)

I'm Back... as a 90's girl :(

My goodness - it has been well over 2 years since I last posted and I am sitting here in tears because not a damn thing has changed. :( If only I had stayed focused I would have easily been at my goal now!!!

I am sitting at 93kg - yep I am back in the 90's and feeling so upset and disgusted with myself!! I have been doing great with my exercise for the past 2 years, obviously nothing with my food! What really upsets me is that for 2 years, even though I have not lost weight (actually gained), it has consumed my life!!!

Here I go again, by saying " I am back into it"..... I need to be!! I am really unhappy at the moment. I am actually looking chubby/fat, my clothes are not fitting, I have the worst "muffin top" I have ever had... just not happy!! Plus I am OBESE!!

2012 is my year, no use talking about it, as I always talk - it is time to make it happen and prove to myself that I can do it and that I am worth it.

So many reasons to get to goal this year!!

1. I need to be healthy for my gorgeous boys!

2. I have promised myself that I will sponsor a child when I get to goal

3. I have a gym membership and a pool membership - so NO excuse!

4. My mum has shown me that life is worth living - if she can give up alcohol and cigarettes, I can give up junk food!!!

5. I have a full suitcase under my bed of clothes that will "fit me oneday", I am going to get into those clothes this year!

I am going to get back to blogging regularly :)

Wow, I am back - this is my year. A slimmer Natasha is here. My goal is to see a loss each week - I can do that :)

Great weigh in this morning. I have lost 1.1kg so i am now 87.8kg. I am super happy!!!

I am actually not really doing Weight Watchers anymore. I gave up meetings a few months back, wasn't inspired, leader was hopeles... Anyway I am basically just eating healthy and eating less. WW has taught me all about portion sizes so I am putting it all into practise without actually counting points. It is working so far. Don't get me wrong, I think WW is an awsome program...I just need a little break from counting points :-)

I have realised that I want be 80kg before Christmas, but if I was to under 85kg, I will be really happy. Going to get my hair done when I get to 85kg, so that will be a nice little reward.

I am a single mum for the week. Damien has taken about 60 year 6 kids away on camp - poor guy!! We will be fine at home, the kids keep me busy and it is actually an awesome TV week this week, so I am happy!

well, well, well. It has been a little while since I have blogged. Maybe 4 months???? Well in that time I have gained a few kilos. Now 89.2kg. Haven't been too bad, just haven't been focused.

Oh - this is a recent pic of me with my little man Harris!!!!

I guess I have lost sight of the big picture a little bit. I am now getting some good compliments, I am fitting into "normal" clothes and I am feeling SO much better. I think I have just became a little too complacent!

I am still obese!! I started out doing this journey so that I can have a long and happy life with my boys, SO I need to keep losing weight! :-) My ultimate goal is 65ish?? Not really sure - I think when I get closer, I will know.

I really wanted to be 80kg before Christmas, it is do-able???? JUST - MAYBE?? Anyway, I am going to give it a damn good shot!

Well, better be off. Swimming lessons soon, speech therapy soon, water aerobics soon, aaaahhh - Wednesdays are just crazy!!!

well, I had a loss this morning of 1.5kg!!! I am now 86.2kg. The number is slowly going down! The loss was a little undeserved as I haven't really done anything this week. Didn't really stick to my points, did hardly any exercise. The WW fairy is obviously being very nice to me. Thank you!!

We are off to Hamilton Island in less than a week. I am so excited. Getting a little stressed as nothing is organised,etc.. Put I really can't pack anything yet. I am obviouly not tracking whilst I am on hols, but I am going to try and be "goodish"!! I would love to come back staying the same - or maybe a TINY gain!!! My aim is to have a great week this week, to make up for the following week :-)

I checked my BMI this morning, I am still obese!!! That doesn't bother me, it just shows me that I have come so far (almost 40 kgs lost since starting WW), but I still have a little way to go. I now have less than 20kgs to loss. I know that to some that may sound a lot, but I started this journey with about 65kg to loss - so less than 20 is awesome!!

Fingers crossed for a good week!!