OMG!

OMG OMG OMG!!

Well, I never ever thought I would be sitting here saying that I have put most of my weight back on!! :( I remember reading/hearing?? a while ago that a large amount, 80%??? of people that lose weight will put it back on - I seriously thought, how??? You lose weight, you keep it off = easy.

I am back at 103kg. The number is terrible, back to 3 digits, back over 100, but what is even worse is that I promised to never be back over 100. I never make promises, so I am so disappointed that I have broken it. I have lied to myself, lied to my amazing husband and lied to my boys.

Being over 100kg is not just a number, I am feeling so depressed all the time, I am always tired, I have little interest in sex, I am feeling very anti social, I am feeling inferior, it really is affecting my life.

There really is nothing I can say, I always talk and never "do". It really is time that my actions speak louder than words.

I am no longer doing weight watchers, although I am sure I will always "be counting points". I saw a dietitian a few months back, listened to her for a week, and since then have not given a stuff - but I now give a stuff. I need to. So I am going to be following her plan, and I am going to be losing weight!!!

I am hoping my close friend Sarah will do this journey with me. We are at the same weight, similar life styles, so it will be nice. Also a bit of friendly competition will be good.

I am not going to make some big statement to be 80kg for Easter, etc... I have done that forever and have failed. I really do just want to lose every week  -how awesome would that be.

Braxton (5 years) has been telling me lately that I am fat. I know he is just a kid, but I do not ever want my boys to be embarrassed of my size, so it really is time to fix me!!! To become happy, to become a better mum, to become a better wife and be the person I really want to be.

A loss is a good start

I had a loss - not as big as I was hoping, but my aim is to lose each week, so I achieved that. I am now sitting at 92.1kg. Had an awesome week - worked out the most I think I have ever, so I am really proud of that.

I stuck to my points, need to really check my snacking though, I am sure I am eating a few more than I am meant to each day :( Hoping for a really good loss again this week.

My goal is to be 88kg before the end of the month, so that is still achievable.

I am having a hit of tennis tonight with a few friends, so that will be interesting :)

I'm Back... as a 90's girl :(

My goodness - it has been well over 2 years since I last posted and I am sitting here in tears because not a damn thing has changed. :( If only I had stayed focused I would have easily been at my goal now!!!

I am sitting at 93kg - yep I am back in the 90's and feeling so upset and disgusted with myself!! I have been doing great with my exercise for the past 2 years, obviously nothing with my food! What really upsets me is that for 2 years, even though I have not lost weight (actually gained), it has consumed my life!!!

Here I go again, by saying " I am back into it"..... I need to be!! I am really unhappy at the moment. I am actually looking chubby/fat, my clothes are not fitting, I have the worst "muffin top" I have ever had... just not happy!! Plus I am OBESE!!

2012 is my year, no use talking about it, as I always talk - it is time to make it happen and prove to myself that I can do it and that I am worth it.

So many reasons to get to goal this year!!

1. I need to be healthy for my gorgeous boys!

2. I have promised myself that I will sponsor a child when I get to goal

3. I have a gym membership and a pool membership - so NO excuse!

4. My mum has shown me that life is worth living - if she can give up alcohol and cigarettes, I can give up junk food!!!

5. I have a full suitcase under my bed of clothes that will "fit me oneday", I am going to get into those clothes this year!

I am going to get back to blogging regularly :)

Wow, I am back - this is my year. A slimmer Natasha is here. My goal is to see a loss each week - I can do that :)